


your love was handmade for somebody like me

by antikytheras



Series: warm-up hogwash [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (yet), Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, M/M, Valentine's Day, no one's canonically dating anyone, this is potentially the second dumbest thing i've ever written, what are these tags even
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 03:56:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9801626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antikytheras/pseuds/antikytheras
Summary: ‘Wait, Yuuri gotyouchocolate?’Chris carelessly tears open the delicate, handmade gift of Yuuri’s love, swallowing it in one bite like the snake he is. ‘Yeah?’‘He didn’t get me anything!’‘Viktor—’‘Am I not his favourite Slytherin anymore?’‘Viktor—’‘It’s Valentine’s! How could he make something for you and not for me?’‘Viktor for fuck’s sake—oh look, there he goes.’





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't planning to write anything but I got hit by a sudden dose of inspiration. So here you go! It's a little late but I hope you guys don't mind c:
> 
> Unbetaed (and barely edited).

Something’s wrong.

It’s Valentine’s. Which is a Good Thing, definitely. So that can’t be it.

Viktor’s brows are furrowed when he strolls back to the common room, his haul of chocolates levitating in the air behind him. He’s got a pretty decent amount of Honeydukes’ diabetes this year, so that can’t be it either.

While he struggles to put his finger on what exactly has gone Awfully Wrong for the day, he ends up absentmindedly skipping all the way back to his dormitory. The overflowing bags floating behind him bounce in sync with his silly leaps. He only loses a third of the chocolate from one bag.

It all falls into place when he sees _Chris_ of all people with Yuuri’s gorgeous chocolate in his undeserving hands.

The other Slytherin fifth-year is lounging in their room, idly sorting through his massive pile of sweets and treats. He looks oddly serious, pushing the frame of his glasses up the bridge of his nose and frowning as he digs through his Valentine’s gifts. Viktor always gets more chocolates than him, of course, but this year he’d give away almost all of his loot in exchange for Yuuri’s chocolate.

(He’s definitely not trading his sugar mice for anything.)

Yuuri’s never given _anybody_ chocolate before, and Viktor had obviously assumed that he’d be the first in line to receive Yuuri’s love. He’s Yuuri’s favourite person! Maybe aside from Phichit. Even then, if Yuuri gave Phichit chocolates, Viktor would get chocolates too, right?

Apparently, he couldn’t have been more wrong.

Viktor sputters indignantly, tossing his four massive bags of chocolate onto his bed. ‘Wait, Yuuri got _you_ chocolate?’

Chris carelessly tears open the delicate, handmade gift of Yuuri’s love, swallowing it in one bite like the snake he is. ‘Yeah?’

‘He didn’t get me anything!’

Chris looks amused. ‘Viktor—’

‘Am I not his favourite Slytherin anymore?’

Okay, now he looks annoyed. ‘ _Viktor—_ ’

‘It’s Valentine’s! How could he make something for you and not for me?’

At this point, Viktor’s stormed off in a huff, so he doesn’t know what Chris looks like when he hisses, ‘ _Viktor for fuck’s sake_ —oh look, there he goes.’

\--

Viktor whips out his phone on his march out of the Slytherin dungeons.

_Bruh I gotta rant to you_

Phichit replies instantly, of course.

_??? wassup_

_Did you know Yuuri made chocolates this year_

Phichit sounds perplexed when he replies, _yeah? of course i mean i was with him when he was trying not to burn down the kitchens_

Phichit’s words land a metaphorical knife into his metaphorical heart. Which is metaphorical because it doesn’t exist anymore. Because apparently Yuuri gave his heart to _Chris_ of all people and Viktor’s been heartlessly thrown aside.

He sniffs dramatically when he emotionally texts back, _I can’t believe it you’ve betrayed me too_

_viktor what the hell did your fangirls feed you_

Caught up in his teenage angst, Viktor does the unthinkable.

He blueticks Phichit.

Immediately, Phichit’s reply spam fills up his screen.

_did you just_

_i can’t believe_

_omg r00d_

_i used to think that georgi was the worst drama queen but now i see what yakov’s always ranting about_

With a sad sniff, Viktor decides that he needs some time to himself.

\--

Yuuri finds him in about five minutes.

He hardly even sounds surprised when he orders, ‘Viktor, get down from there.’

‘ _Never_.’

‘Those were _practice_ chocolates, you _idiot_.’

Viktor peeks out from his vantage point atop the library shelf. ‘Are you sure you’re not saying that just to make me come down?’ he accuses.

Yuuri deadpans, arms crossed and staring up at the shelf with the tiniest hint of a frown. ‘I can make you come down without having to lie to your face.’

‘Oh yeah? Make me.’ Viktor pouts.

Yuuri doesn’t even bat an eyelash. ‘Peeves, if you’d please.’

And then Viktor’s shoved off the top of the shelf by an invisible force. He lands on the ground with a heavy thud and a groan, and the delighted cackle of a meddlesome poltergeist ringing in his ears.

When he looks up, Yuuri’s crouching down over him, now with his concerned frown very visible. ‘You didn’t break anything, right?’

‘I’ve got nothing else to break since you’ve already broken my heart,’ Viktor whines, curling up into his ball of sadness.

Yuuri sighs and picks him up effortlessly, carrying him out of the library before the librarians can smack the both of them into next year. ‘Come on, enough already. Do you remember that time in our second year, when Chris “accidentally” gave me that box of hexed Every Flavour Beans?’

Viktor frowns. It’s surprisingly nice to have Yuuri carry him like this. Huh. He didn’t realise he was into that. ‘Yeah?’

‘I thought I’d return the favour.’ There’s a menacing glint in Yuuri’s eyes. With a gulp, Viktor reminds himself never to cross the fluffily kind Gryffindor. ‘I thought it was only fair to give it back to him on his birthday, too.’

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Right.

It’s his best friend’s birthday today.

No wonder Chris had looked so annoyed.

Yuuri’s continuing his explanation. ‘Anyway, in Japan, it’s usually the girls who give the guys chocolates on Valentine’s. The guys return the favour a month later, on White Day. I messed up this month’s batch so I just dumped it onto Chris. I was thinking of giving you some nicer ones in March.’ There’s the faintest shade of red colouring his cheeks.

Viktor blinks up at him from the warmth of his bridal-style carry. ‘Does that mean I have to be the girl?’

‘What? No, of course not.’

‘But I’ve been giving you chocolates on Valentine’s all these years.’

‘Guys can give guys chocolates too,’ Yuuri says pointedly. ‘It’s the thought that counts.’

‘And what were you thinking when you gave Chris chocolates, hmm?’ Viktor knows that Yuuri’s petty, but this is taking it to a whole new level. It seems like he’ll never stop being surprised by his favourite Gryffindor.

Yuuri _smirks_. ‘Oh, you’ll see.’

\--

In the meantime, Chris is curled up in a ball in the nurse’s office.

When he turns and retches into the self-emptying bucket by his bed, a Ravenclaw boy sitting in a chair by his bedside reaches over to hold his hair.

‘Told you not to cross that Yuuri kid,’ the boy chides mildly, keeping Chris’s hair out of his face with one hand and reaching for his wand with the other.

Chris only manages a groan in response.

**Author's Note:**

> References:  
> Chris has glasses - Kubo's confirmed that he's short sighted + I am so weak to glasses!Chris  
> Chris's birthday - February 14th  
> Chris "accidentally" giving hexed beans to Yuuri - an incident that was brought up in part 3 of this series (all the way home i'll be warm)  
> White Day - falls on March 14th. In Japan, girls give the guys chocolates on Valentine's and the guys return the favour a month later on White Day.
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/_antikytheras)


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